Her deep-seeded hatred of the Pillsbury Doughboy really peaked my interest.
“By in large, the Doughboy is cute, cuddly and totally lovable. I know some are put off by the fact that he is depicted as butt naked all the time, but does that really warrant such strong feelings toward the little guy?” I asked.
“My attitude towards him is well founded, irregardless of his appearance,” she replied. “And the world agrees with me. If we polled a hundred people and asked who is the creepiest product spokesman alive, I guarantee he would be a shoe-in to win.”
“You still haven’t explained why he doesn’t pass mustard with you. All I’ve heard you say so far is you don’t like him with no justification. Can’t you give me a sneak peak into your rationale?”
“If you pour over his history, you would understand. Did you know, for instance, that he was conceived on accident by a cartoonist who was trying to draw the ghost of that murderous chef, David Veens?”
“What! Who told you that? That sounds like it could of been made up by someone who wanted a sensational headline. Anyway, even if that is true, I could care less what the inspiration was.”
“How can his origin be a mute point for you? Are you telling me you would be unphased if he was drawn by Adolf Hitler or Jeffrey Dahmer? Besides, that’s not the only thing about him that’s disturbing.”
“I suppose you’re going to tell me he is a memento to some ex-patriot criminal who emigrated to Russia to escape prosecution for spying.”
“No, but for all intensive purposes, he is just there to wet your appetite for unhealthy food that is stuffed with MSG , gluden and all forms of terrible chemicals”
“How can you have any piece of mind blaming poor Poppin’ Fresh for what’s in the food? He’s just a spokesman, and an animated one at that! It’s not like he’s one in the same as, I don’t know, the kid on the street corner who is selling the lemonade he just made.”
“This is the problem with arguing with you. You have to make due with examples that take a different track because you can’t come up with anything good. This conversation is over!”
“You’re one to talk. The case and point here is you throw your half-baked argument out because you think ‘first come, first serve’ applies to opinions. Well, the statue of limitations on my patience with you just ran out. Goodbye!”
Each paragraph above has two (one has three) misused or incorrect sayings. I also threw in one misspelling just for fun. Read back through and see if you can spot them all!
Write Brain 