“Through Chick and Thin”

Oh, how proud his parents were!  Cornelius, or “Connie” as he was known to his family and friends in Battle Creek, Michigan, was the first Fowler to ever attend college.  The timing of Connie’s college years couldn’t have been worse, though, as he started school just seven weeks before the Wall Street Crash of 1929.  His parents were determined to see Connie fulfill his promise, so they found a way to keep him in school by skimping and saving wherever they could. After four years at Michigan State University, Connie walked across the stage to receive his bachelor’s degree while his father beamed, his mother cried and his three siblings clapped and whistled.  Connie was destined for great things. 

After graduation, Connie turned his attention to landing his first job.  He knew this would be a daunting task given the state of the economy in 1933, and soon learned just how accurate this assessment was, particularly in finding a job that made use of his degree in Medieval Studies.  Connie had envisioned teaching, museum curation or library archiving as likely fields but found no opportunities in these fields.   He expanded his search into communications and business where there was some demand for employment but he was overshadowed by candidates who had more applicable degrees.  After six months of searching, Connie had grown desperate.  His family had taken on the economic hardship of financing his college education and now he was unable to repay their sacrifice by finding work.   

Connie’s desperation brought him to one of the largest employers in Battle Creek, The Kellogg Company.  He knew there was unlikely to be a fit with his field of study at a cereal company but at this point he was willing to take any position to fill his time and start paying back his parents. He went into the employment office, received an application which he filled out in the lobby of the building and returned it to the director of human resources, a Mr. Hauser.  The director scanned the application and then looked up from the paper. 

“Cornelius, I’m afraid we just don’t have anything that fits for you.  Most of our open positions are on the factory floor and the starting pay is $20 per week, well below what a college educated man should earn,” said Mr. Hauser.  

“Sir, I’d be happy to fill any role for a fine company such as Kellogg’s.  I’m confident I can be a positive force using my upbeat attitude and communication skills to meld with the other workers in the plant.”

Mr. Hauser paused before he responded.  “There is one opening here at Kellogg’s that I haven’t mentioned. It’s the brainchild of our founder, W.K.  Kellogg.  He believes a happy employee is a motivated, productive worker and has encouraged us to look for ways to lift the morale of our people.  The position we have open would be responsible for greeting our workers as they enter the plant each morning, lifting their spirits and getting their minds set on Kellogg’s immediately. Further, this person would walk the plant floor each day to keep that positive spirit engaged and would also come up with employee promotions and events for the same purpose.  It requires someone personable, energetic and creative. It pays better than the factory jobs at $45 per week.” 

“That sounds amazing and a perfect fit for my personality.”

“There’s just one other thing you should know,” said Mr. Hauser.  “In performing your duties, you would be required to wear a rooster suit at all times.”

After a six month climb, Mr. Hauser’s description of the job and pay had made Connie feel he had crested and was now gaining momentum on the downslope, only to run into a brick wall

“A rooster suit?  A rooster suit.  May I ask why?” said Connie. 

“Mr., Kellogg believes the rooster  represents Kellogg’s culture perfectly as it embodies qualities  dear to his heart – pride, honesty, strength and vigilance.  He has therefore chosen the rooster as the symbol of his fine company.  So the job requires the candidate to wear the suit at all times.”

Connie was trying to imagine himself, a college graduate with all the accompanying visions of grandeur, plying his trade in a chicken suit. The image would be laughable if he had any other employment options or patience to continue the search.  

“Aren’t you worried that the suit will overpower the message, that the employees will—“ 

“I’m afraid Mr. Kellogg is steadfast in his belief in this regard.  The job requires the wearing of the rooster suit, Mr. Fowler, so if you want the job you will have to accept this condition.”

Swallowing pride as large as a bowling ball, Connie heard himself answer, “I’ll take it”. 

“Wonderful” said Mr. Hauser as he handed him a slip of paper.  “You can stop by this address to be measured for the suit this afternoon and you can start a week from Monday”. 

Connie left Kellogg’s and went to the tailor to be custom fitted for his poultry suit of many colors.  He was still in a state of disbelief when he arrived at his home and was greeted by his mother: “How did the interview go, dear?” 

“Well, I, I got a job,” said Connie.  

“What! – that’s wonderful Connie!  Robert, did you hear that?  Our son is going to be working at Kellogg’s!”

“Well, it’s about time,” said Robert 

“Robert, what a terrible thing to say at such a happy moment!” said his mother.  

“What I mean is it’s about time some company recognized that Connie is a sharp boy and gave him a job, that’s all.  What will you be doing there, son?” 

“I’ll be in charge of motivating employees to do their jobs better, keeping morale high, and promoting the qualities that Mr. Kellogg values.”  He couldn’t bring himself to mention that he would be doing all of this while clucking through each day in a rooster suit.  

“That sounds like a very important job.  You know I always say a happy worker is a better worker,” said his father.  “When do you start?” 

“A week from Monday” 

“Do we need to buy you a new suit?” asked  his mother.  “For such a big job, I’m sure they want you to look snazzy.” 

“No, Mom, they’re giving me a suit so I don’t need to buy anything.”

“Oh my goodness, they’re giving you a suit to wear too!  What a wonderful company.  Oh, Connie, we’re so proud of you. I knew it was just a matter of time before this happened!” said his ecstatic mother.  

“We’re very proud of you, son.  You can walk tall now in the neighborhood with a job like this, yes sir,” said his father.  

“More like strut,” Connie said under his breath.  The Monday came and Connie stopped by the tailor to pick up his new work attire, and what a sight is was.  The feathers on the long neck were a burnt orange shade while the body itself was a smattering of burgundy, turquoise, green and purple. The head was dominated by the tongue-red wattle below the mouth and giant comb on top of the head.  

In the suit, Connie now stood almost eight feet tall.  Connie left the tailor with his new plumage and drove to the Kellogg’s plant.  

“Good morning Cornelius,” said Mr. Hauser, eyeing the suit over Connie’s arm  “I love the suit.  Mr. Kellogg will be so happy.  Let’s go over some initial thoughts I had on how you’ll be interacting with our employees going forward.  Then I’d like to get you started by bringing you into the plant, in the suit of course, and introducing you”. 

Thirty minutes and two bad puns later (“it’s ok if you wing it” and “I know you won’t chicken out”), Mr. Hauser shuffled Connie into a restroom to change. The moment of truth had arrived.  Connie slipped on the suit and stood for a moment in front of the mirror.  He thought of ending this nightmare before it began, stripping off the suit and retaining his dignity which seemed so imperiled at this moment.  But then he thought of his parents and the disappointment they would feel if he quit.  He took a deep breath and walked through the restroom door, where he banged his rooster head on the frame.   Both he and the costume escaped any damage, but Mr. Hauser couldn’t suppress another witty pun: “Don’t forget to duck!”

“Wonderful, wonderful.  Come Cornelius, let’s do the grand unveiling!” said Mr. Hauser, who led Connie into the processing and packaging portion of the plant.  Connie, or “Corny” as Mr. Hauser decided he should be known when in costume, unsurprisingly drew quite a bit of attention as he walked through the aisles.  When they had reached the center of the area, Mr. Hauser pulled out a bullhorn, switched it on and started talking: “Hello everyone, good morning.  Hope everyone is having a productive day so far.  I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of the Kellogg’s family.  His name is Corny and you will be seeing a lot of him going forward.  Mr. Kellogg hatched an idea to make our lives here at Kellogg’s a little more fun and Corny is an “eggs-pert” in that area.  Now put your drumsticks together and let’s hear it for Corny!” 

Connie took a bow in all directions while a short round of muted applause was barely audible over the sounds of the machinery.  As the employees dispersed, Connie noted the smiles and laughs on the faces of most of the employees and felt hope that this wasn’t going to be as bad as he thought.  Mr. Hauser left him to walk the plant on his own and it started almost immediately:

“Hey rooster man, how’s chicks?” 

“Hope you don’t fowl up the job!” 

“Hey Corny, what time is your break – 10 o’cluck!” 

“If I were you, I would fly this coop while you still have a chance,” 

Since Corny was sternly told by Mr. Hauser that he could not speak while in costume, he had to bite his lip while everyone made fun of him.  This continued on for about 15 minutes throughout the plant until Connie headed into the offices, took off the rooster head and walked into Mr. Hauser’s office. 

“Sir, it’s terrible out there.  They’re all laughing at me and making fun of the costume.  I don’t think this is having the effect Mr. Kellogg was hoping for,” said Connie. 

“Cornelius, it’s only been a short time, you have to give it a chance.  Go back out there and keep a stiff upper beak.  They will accept you, and in the meantime, moral has probably gone up already with the laughter and camaraderie.”

What could Connie do?  He needed the work and Mr. Hauser was right, he had only been at it for a few minutes.  He hoped the worst of the ridicule was over and that things would get better from here on.  He bravely donned the rooster head and went back out into the plant.

Walking through the quality control area, he bumped into a young woman who was looking at a clipboard instead of where she was going.   She knelt to pick up her work, and when she looked up and saw Connie, she dropped it again, her eyes and mouth went wide and she froze for a moment before she screamed and ran off toward her office.  Connie was so surprised at her response that he just stood there, watching her go progress through terror without revealing his true identity.  He then removed the mask, and walked into her office and apologized.  The girl calmed down quickly and explained to him that she suffered from alektorophobia, a fear of roosters,  

Over the next week, the joking died down, and as Connie learned ways to entertain the employees, they began laughing at the things he did instead of at him.  He would sneak up on people and tap their shoulders, thrusting his huge face into theirs when they turned.  He would sit  on fake nests and grunt like he was laying eggs, and then would reach below him and pull out chocolate covered Easter eggs and hand them out.  He brought in a friend who dressed up as a fox and chased him around the plant while the employees cheered.  His most popular routine involved having the same fox-costumed friend pretend he was sleeping on the job; Connie would walk up to him, tap him on the chest, and when there was no response, he would let out the loudest “Cock-a-doodle-doo” imaginable, which woke the man and caused him to fall off his stool onto the floor.  Connie thought he was winning them over and becoming a familiar and favored part of their days.  

Just when everything seemed to be going well, it didn’t.   One Wednesday afternoon, when Connie left the plant floor, entered the offices and removed his rooster head, he saw the shocked faces of his mother and father.  They had come to the plant to surprise him and bring him chicken soup for lunch, but his poor mother nearly fainted when she saw that this spectacle of a man was her Connie.  His father responded with outrage.  “I did not spend almost $4,000 on college so you could parade about as some kind of hen.  Cornelius, where is your pride?  You will remove that suit this instant!” 

“I’m not a hen dad, I’m a rooster.”

Poor Connie was embarrassed on multiple levels.  He pulled his parents into a vacant office, and explained and apologized for not telling them before.  His parents calmed down as Connie explained that he liked his job at Kellogg’s, felt like he was really contributing to the company and while the rooster suit was unusual, it served its purpose well.  They left the plant, telling Connie it was up to him to decide whether to keep doing a job that made him look so ridiculous.

The following Tuesday, Connie arrived at the plant early, around 6:00am, so he could arrange a special giveaway of hard-boiled eggs to the employees on their way into the plant.  Mr. Kellogg drove up in his Rolls Royce Phantom 1 and parked in his spot near the front entrance while Connie was setting up; he had met Mr. Kellogg before but had never seen him arrive in the morning since Mr. Kellogg always came in earlier than he did.  Connie was already in costume, so he walked over to Mr. Kellogg’s car to greet him.   When he got to within about 50 feet of his car, Connie saw Mr. Kellogg raise both his arms over his head into the air.  Then a man moved from behind the car into Connie’s sight; he was pointing a handgun at Mr. Kellogg, apparently threatening him.  Connie froze for a moment but the man didn’t act like he saw him; he was positioned directly between Mr. Kellogg and Connie and had his back to Connie.  Connie moved closer and closer until he heard the man say: “… big fancy car, nice clothes, I bet you’re carrying a big wad of cash too, old man. Let’s see it, hand over your money clip and wallet – now!” Mr. Kellogg reached into his pockets and grabbed them both.  As he extended his hands to the robber who reached for the money and wallet, Connie, who was now only 10 feet behind the man, took two giant bounds covering the remaining distance and kicked the gun out of his hand, watching it sail into nearby bushes. When the would-be thief turned and saw an eight-foot-tall rooster was his assailant, he stood with wide eyes and mouth and completely frozen.  Connie guessed the man suffered from alektorophobia, so he quickly decided to play on that fear. He started pecking at the man with his giant beak while squawking at defeating decibels.  The robber, in apparent fear for his life, screamed and ran away across the parking lot and into the wooded field adjoining it, with Connie in hot pursuit.

It looked like the man would escape, but as he looked back at his fowl pursuer, he tripped and fell face first to the ground, granting Connie enough time to close the distance and jump on top of the terrified man.  Connie pinned his arms to the ground while sitting on his chest and then started cock-a-doodle-doing so he could be heard and found.  In a few moments, several security men who Connie later learned had been rousted by Mr. Kellogg came onto the scene and took the grateful would-be robber away from Connie. 

Upon arriving back at the plant, Connie was greeted by a shaken but grateful Mr. Kellogg: “Son, that was the single greatest act of bravery I have ever experienced.  One of the bad eggs in our society has just received his comeuppance thanks to you.  I’d like to reward you, my boy.  Remind me of your name again?” said Mr. Kellogg. 

“It’s Connie sir.  Connie Fowler” 

“Well Connie, I think we can find a place for a man of your talent and bravery that doesn’t require you to strut around all day in that suit.  How would you like to work directly for me as my head of security?”

To his own surprise, Connie turned down the generous offer: “Thank you Mr. Kellogg, but I think my place in the pecking order here at Kellogg’s is best suited to my rooster role in employee morale.  But a raise would be nice.”

“Consider it done, my boy.  Now we should both get back to work” 

A week later, as Connie drove into the Kellogg’s parking lot, he was greeted with an enormous sign that said, “Way To Go Connie!” surrounded by a large group of  employees, Mr. Kellogg and his parents.  Mr. Kellogg gave a short speech praising Connie for his heroism while his beaming parents stood next to Mr. Kellogg.  Mr. Kellogg presented Connie with a framed box front of Corn Flakes with Connie’s  picture on it.  As everyone cheered, Connie felt himself blush, although no one could have noticed since he was in costume. 

Connie continued in his goodwill rooster ambassador role at Kellogg’s until he retired his suit in 1955.  Kellogg’s had grown significantly in size and stature during Connie’s tenure and was regularly voted as a top place to work in Battle Creek due to its exceptional employee morale.  Kellogg’s had also had great success in developing characters for each of its popular cereals, such as Snap, Crackle & Pop for Rice Krispies and Tony the Tiger for Frosted Flakes.  When they hired the advertising agency Leo Burnett in 1957 to come up with a character tied to Corn Flakes, there was one obvious choice.  In honor of Connie’s years of service, Kellogg’s chose a rooster to adorn the box of its Corn Flakes cereal and gave that rooster the name Cornelius (“Corny”) Rooster.  It was the final feather in Connie’s cap. 

Author’s note: In case you were wondering, this is an entirely fictional account 😀